Dreams of a Doubtful Writer

I am asking myself the hard question, "How do I plan to jump start my writing career?" And to be honest, I don't have a writing career, yet. I'm still a struggling writer that no one has heard of except friends, family, and classmates. I don't even know if I have enough credentials to call myself a writer, but I am one (I've been one ever since I was in elementary school). I dream of penning a book that becomes a best-seller. I want to earn tons of money and travel the world promoting my book. I want to be interviewed by the best journalists and have my photograph donning the front cover of Poets & Writers. At least, that is what I want, but will it happen? Right now, I'd be satisfied with having one of my works be published in a major literary magazine, but I don't know if this is achievable. Right now, I know that I need to write more, but I feel blocked. Like the blank page is a challenge. A test. And I don't want to fail. To put it bluntly, I'm a very practical person, and sometimes the idea of being a fiction writer seems too lofty. To write a well-written piece of work takes a lot of time and effort. And in spite of your hard work, there are no guarantees, and it is this realization that is preventing me to write. For example, I really want to turn in a manuscript to The New Yorker, but there is a huge part of me that feels it is a waste of my time, but we never know unless we try, right?

A Dream Deferred?

The waiting game is what I call it. What am I referring to? The months and months you wait to hear whether your work will be published in a literary magazine. It's like waiting to hear whether you've got accepted into the school of your dreams. Honestly, I don't ever think I have a real chance of getting published, but it's nice to believe you have a shot. During your waiting period, you ask yourself, "What if?" What if your work does get published? I remember when my story, "Elvis,"became published. I received the news on the last day of July via email. It was for The Baltimore Urbanite, New Voices: Emerging Writers Issue, August 2009. I was so ecstatic. Lights, camera, action! I thought being published meant things were going to happen. Maybe someone would contact me...recognize me...phone calls...none of the above...but it is a starting point. So, I just got to keep trekking along and maybe things will start to happen. At least, I hope. Anyway, can you recall your first published story? Did you have high expectations? Did anything come from it?